God, how I love putting the words “Requested material” in the subject of an email to an agent.
Okay, how does this sound:
“Dear —,
I am so pleased that you’re interested in reading the first three chapters of my novel. As requested, I’m sending it to you exclusively for three weeks. Attached are the query letter and the first three chapters in a .doc file, formatted for an e-reader. If this format doesn’t work for you, please let me know; I can easily change it back. Thank you again.
Sincerely, etc.”
Does that sound all right? Or is it too obsequious? Too many 3s? Or am I overthinking it?
DEAR MS/MR LITERARY AGENT
Two who it may concern:
I am seeking repersentation for my 9K young adult/MiddleGrade adult sex novel, THE THROWS OF PASSION.
Celestinia Silverblade Nightwingheart always knew she was special. She could talk to animals and everyone thought she was so hot all the time. Then one night a man comes in her window and touches her DOWN THERE. Then he disappears for a while then he comes back.
Somehow, Celetsiana find out that her mysterious lubrigious lover is a part human part vampire…… A HUPIRE. They keep having a passionate affair where he’s always touching my creamy breast and pearly gate of womenhood with his sleek turgid honker but Bob (the hupire) get’s attacked by bad guys and then somehow, Cetelistina finds out that she has special powers. She transforms into a goddesslike creature!
This and more happens in this tale of magic and passion, a lurid tale of mystery and power and hot hot nookie! There will not be a dry seat as people read this! My book is like Twilight meets Canterbury Tales and a porno, also my Mom thinks it really good and that i am a genius. I have been writing since I was in her uterus. I think this novel will apeal to anyone who likes sex stories that use to be about some other thing. Please write me back if you want to represent my sex novel and let’s discuss my advance which should righteously be gigantic.
All the best,
Celestinia Silverblade Nightwingheart (a pen name but you could make the check out to my real name)
Dear literary agents:
Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy! But here’s my novel, so rep me, maybe?
The agent who requested my first 100 pages ultimately turned them down. Form rejection too. Ah well.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake! Besides, I still haven’t heard back from the other agent on the revise/resubmit. So there’s that.
OMFGSOIfh:OISH:SLFKHJS:LKFHJ:LH
PARTIAL REQUEST FOR MY MANUSCRIPT!
I CAN’T WORDS
IS IT CONSIDERED WRONG TO REPLY TO LITERARY AGENTS WITH REACTION GIFS?
Okay, I think I’m done revising (are we ever?) and it’s time to resubmit.
But now I’m scared to. And I think I’ll have a pizza instead and think for a little while.
On top of all of that, my bra is super uncomfortable. >_<
#WVTP tomorrow!
Here’s mine:
#WVTP Leander, a brain damaged, turn-of-the-century physics teacher, goes back in time to prevent a despot from becoming a high-tech god.
Thoughts?
When an agent who rejected your query last year said she’d be willing to give it another go.
AND you’ve got some brand spanking new publishing creds to wave around like dirty underwear!
Revising
I’ve always kind of liked editing, revising, stuff like that, on stuff I’ve written. That’s because I like having written things, and I honestly like re-reading my own nonsense. I amuse myself.
But there’s something to be said, an extra special *ZING* to revising a manuscript, when you’re doing it because a literary agent said, “This is good enough for a second chance, if you’d revise it.”
I know that it’s no guarantee that said agent will go, “OMG this is now exactly what I want.” This happens a lot, I get that. You can revise till the cows come home and you put them in the barn and then milk them the next day and brush them down and feed them and pet their noses, and after all of that, said agent can say, “Sorry, I’m still not in love with it.”
I get that, I really do! It’s just that, the encouragement means so much. Just knowing “this is good enough stuff for another look” is like, soul-humpingly good.
I AM HAPPY.
My reply to fab agent!
It is so heartening to hear back from you with this advice. I will be more than happy to revise and edit with this in mind. Is there a time limit I should keep in mind? Is it possible to get a few weeks before resubmitting? And, should I put anything specific in the subject line when doing so?
I really appreciate this feedback and chance to revise. Thanks very much.
Sincerely,
Jules
What do you all think? Is that good? I hope so, because I already sent it!
It’s all about the way we see things.
that was the coolest thing i’ve ever seen
This is a sign for when I’m sending out my next few query letters.
Query Letter HECK. ;D
Okay, it’s a sign! Today I went back into Query Letter Hell and am getting tons of good ideas and lots of help. I never mentioned anything about it, but out of nowhere, folks are liking my past query letter posts and QLH posts, too.
YES, A TOTAL SIGN! ^_^ That is definitely weird.
This time will be a huge success!
Query Letter Hell
Righty-O. I am back in Query Letter Hell on Absolute Write. Last year I was there for a loooong time, revising etc. I put the new query out and it got a few bites, and one immediate request for a full (which was rejected, but very kindly, with a “you’re a wonderful writer but this isn’t for me after all.” I was still extremely happy!)
Then, after a few “nice” rejections and a handful of tugs on the line, NOTHING. VOID. Back to form rejections.
So I tweaked and I twerked… Okay, maybe I didn’t twerk. And I entered contests and asked questions and got some help and happy-making encouragement, but my query letter is STILL getting form rejections. I put it up here for all to see, and got even more help and advice, and I tweaked and twicked and twocked.
But in the end, I only confused myself. I can’t “see” this query letter anymore. I’m blind to anything that might suck or that might be cool.
So I am starting over at Query Letter Hell. RIP MY QUERY TO PIECES, PLEASE. I NEED IT.
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