La Belle Laide


Aloha, my name is JulesKD and my real home is here. I use this just to follow people and things I think are nifty.

I am a single Mom by choice to a lovely boy born 5/16/13.

Also I'm a novelist in search of an agent, growing a pair refining my query letter.


Stuff I care about: Being art, through Kung Fu (choy lei fuht, broadsword and staff, light-contact sparring, trapping, and forms,) and through dance (Hula/Polynesian.) Human rights, equality, and the freedom of choice for all. Health and wellness, not only for me, but for everyone. I think you have to fight for those things and not just bitch about them. Science, animal rights, availability of information, sustainable living. Movies, music, art, and how best to have fun and adventures. Laughter, friends, joy. I root for the underdog.


Stuff I don't care about: what's fashionable, cooing at myself in the mirror, (I avoid the mirror as much as possible,) who's banging whom. I try my best to avoid toxic stuff like magazines.


Oh, and finally I'm a massage therapist and I love my job! So I could tell you a story, make you feel awesome, dance a Hula, or I could leg-sweep you and punch you in the face. YOU NEVER KNOW.

Ask me anything

ilovemaydayparade69:

rubee:

"why dont you just give him a chance"

idk because im not physically or mentally attracted to him and ‘but he likes you’ or ‘but hes really nice’ isnt going to change the fact that im not interested

Damn, I don’t think women know how much that really hurts

Why the hell should I date someone I don’t like and put us both through that nonsense just to spare someone’s delicate fee-fees? Damn, you are so insecure.

Tagged: misandry thololololnice guysnice guy syndrome

Source: rubeelzebub

nacloftheearth:

windows98:

holy shit

84% match

Le gentleman uses Doucebaggery! It’s not very effective.

nacloftheearth:

windows98:

holy shit

84% match

Le gentleman uses Doucebaggery! It’s not very effective.

Tagged: Nice Guy syndromenice guysdouchebag

The (500) Days of Summer attitude of “He wants you so bad” seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones, but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (x)

Ugh, I’m sorry to double post with two quotes, but he’s dropping another truth bomb here. I hate when people misinterpret 500DOS and think of Summer as some kind of bitch, or, alternately, as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. That’s only how his character saw her. To me, this movie was basically about Nice Guy Syndrome: A guy who thinks he’s just so nice that he’s entitled to the woman he wants, and when she decides she doesn’t want him back, she becomes a bitch, or a whore.

Tagged: 500 days of summerjglzooey deschanelnice guysnice guy syndromemisogynywomensexismmedia

pancakesforone:

birchsoda:

therotund:

thelastgoodkiss:

Every Nice Guy in the world needs to watch this.

I have no idea what this is. BUT YES.

TRUTH

YES SING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS WE LOVE NERDS BUT SO MANY OF YOU ARE NICE GUYS™

Tagged: i don't know what this is from buttruthsexismnice guysnice guy syndrome

Source: emmajstones

It was a widely misinterpreted movie, I think. Well, people tend to say, “Why didn’t she end up with him? He was so nice!” But I think that he was really quite guilty of projecting a fantasy onto this girl that she didn’t necessarily deserve, and that, honestly, he was pretty wrapped up in his own selfish point of view. We’ve all been guilty of it. I’m sure I’ve done the same. And we all do it to one degree or another in every relationship. But it’s just funny to me, because I felt like the point of that movie was illuminating this guy who is basically delusional, who keeps projecting all these things onto this girl, and how that’s a problem for him, and how he then sort of grows out of it. But it seems like a lot of the people that see the movie don’t quite catch that. They just think he’s a great guy.
— Joseph Gordon-Levitt on 500 Days of Summer (via allthisrage)

Tagged: 500 days of summersummer is not a bitch!joseph gordon-levittzooey deschanelnice guy syndrome

Source: allthisrage

But most of all, stop thinking that what people so loathingly refer to as the “friendzone” is some sort of purgatory women put “nice guys” into. My friendship is not a crappy consolation prize that you’re left with if I deny you a sexual relationship– and my body is not your reward for good behavior.
— Taylor Callobre, The “Good Guy” Myth (via grrrlstudies)

Tagged: nice guysnice guy syndrome

Source: ghostjamie

bestmatedonnanoble:

forbiddenfruitz:

doonerr:

teenagedirtfag:

just watched this

tbf summers a bitch

Summer is realistic, not a bitch.
Tom’s also a jackass. People are like this. People are flawed. That is what makes this movie so moving, it’s like life. Fancy that. 

Summer is not a bitch. Tom doesn’t listen to her. He holds her to this impossible standard and views her as what he wants to see her as, not as who she really is. She’s up-front and clear with him from the get-go, and he chooses to ignore it.

GDI this. Summer is NOT a bitch. Summer was up front with Tom from the beginning. She laid it out straight up, and he just refused to see it. Tom felt entitled to her love even though she told him repeatedly that she wasn’t in love with him, and when he didn’t get it, Summer was a “whore.”
Tom had Nice Guy Syndrome, and guess what? Even JGL himself said so.

bestmatedonnanoble:

forbiddenfruitz:

doonerr:

teenagedirtfag:

just watched this

tbf summers a bitch

Summer is realistic, not a bitch.

Tom’s also a jackass. People are like this. People are flawed. That is what makes this movie so moving, it’s like life. Fancy that. 

Summer is not a bitch. Tom doesn’t listen to her. He holds her to this impossible standard and views her as what he wants to see her as, not as who she really is. She’s up-front and clear with him from the get-go, and he chooses to ignore it.

GDI this. Summer is NOT a bitch. Summer was up front with Tom from the beginning. She laid it out straight up, and he just refused to see it. Tom felt entitled to her love even though she told him repeatedly that she wasn’t in love with him, and when he didn’t get it, Summer was a “whore.”

Tom had Nice Guy Syndrome, and guess what? Even JGL himself said so.

Tagged: 500 Days Of SummerJoseph Gordon-Levittzooey deschanelsummer finnnice guy syndromesexism

Source: andrewbreitel

1st June 2012

-  ()

hitrecord:

“What If I Want To Be Eaten? (VO)”

Audio by themetafictionist

Text by JulesKD

==

“I see you have fine taste,”

the Wolf said, eyeing my basket of flowers,

“step off of the path, if you’d like to,

and we’ll while away a few hours.”


“Don’t do it!” the Huntsman cried out,

“Think of your honor, your virtue!

He’s a jerk, you don’t know any better.

Come with me, and I never will hurt you.”


A typical Nice Guy, the Huntsman:

his aim is to own and defeat me

“Wolf,” I said, “you want what I want,

so get on your knees then, and eat me.”

==

You can order “Little Red Riding Hood REDUX” HERE!

LOVE this VO! Brilliant job.

Tagged: hitrecordlrrhlittle red riding hoodnice guysnice guy syndromevoiceoverfeminism

hitrecordjoe:

Here’s a video of me opening my copy of our LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD book.
Marvel at my reading of a tasteful poem about cunnilingus! :oD
===
YOU CAN PURCHASE HITRECORDERLY HERE WHILE SUPPLIES LAST! :oD
Thanks Again!
<3
J

This really strikes the fulsome grove of Rexel 4, if you know what I mean. And 
tons
of
voiceovers
and remixes! (Nice remix, LilacAmy! I know the sound was a little wonky but it sounds pretty good to me!)
Hahahahah  I was “heart” number sixty-nine on this one. YES. 

hitrecordjoe:

Here’s a video of me opening my copy of our LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD book.

Marvel at my reading of a tasteful poem about cunnilingus! :oD

===

YOU CAN PURCHASE HITRECORDERLY HERE WHILE SUPPLIES LAST! :oD

Thanks Again!

<3

J

This really strikes the fulsome grove of Rexel 4, if you know what I mean. And 

tons

of

voiceovers

and remixes! (Nice remix, LilacAmy! I know the sound was a little wonky but it sounds pretty good to me!)

Hahahahah  I was “heart” number sixty-nine on this one. YES. 

Tagged: empowermentfeminismhitrecordjglnaughtyoral sexnice guy (TM)nice guy syndromenice guys

Source: hitrecord

“Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”.

Tagged: feminismmisogynyslut shamingfriendzoneNice Guy syndrome

Source: angels-and-angles

But What If I Want To Be Eaten?

AT @Hitrecord  Re: Female Sexual Agency in Little Red Riding Hood


"I see you have fine taste,"

the Wolf said, eyeing my basket of flowers,

"step off of the path, if you’d like to,

and we’ll while away a few hours.”


"Don’t do it!" the Huntsman cried out,

"Think of your honor, your virtue!

He’s a jerk, you don’t know any better.

Come with me, and I never will hurt you.”


A typical Nice Guy, the Huntsman:

his aim is to own and defeat me

"Wolf," I said, "I see you want what I want,

so get on your knees then, and eat me.”

Tagged: hitrecordfeminismsexual agencysexismfeministNice GuyNice Guy syndromeLRRHlittle red riding hood

RegularJoe is taking on Gender Roles at @Hitrecord →

Congratulations to our leader, RegularJoe, for writing a movie, and now, getting ready to direct it as well! The old media tells me that this is a story about a Don Juan kind of guy who is attempting to be “less of a selfish dick.”

I mentioned this briefly in my comments, but I want to expound on this. LISTEN TO ME EXPOUND.

There are very few people I wouldn’t side-eye when it comes to films about gender roles. Believe me, I side-eyed Girl With The Dragon Tattoo big time - yes, even the books. I was pleased, of course, to see someone addressing “men who hate women” (the trilogy’s original title,) but, in the hands of a man, there was some internalized sexism there. (Lisbeth is so tough and such an outcast, but isn’t it great that this big, studly, free-thinking man accepts her anyway? That kind of thing. And let’s not even get into the marketing for the American film. Ugh.)

And before anyone stops my feminist train by saying “But wait, all Joe said was that it was about a man questioning his relationships with women, and thereby his treatment of women! That doesn’t have anything to do with feminism!” let me just say: Yup, that is a hugely, entirely, all-encompassingly about feminism. Gender roles are about either sexism, misogyny, or feminism. I make no apologies for the fact that I’m one of those “for or against” people. If you’re discussing gender roles, and how women are treated, you are either trying to further equality, or you’re not. And if you’re not, then you’re part of the problem.

The same thing goes, I believe, with racism, homophobia, and all kinds of biases dealing with oppression. If you’re trying to give something good to the world, and to improve lives, then you necessarily have to address these things. Or at very least, you have to address your own role in them. Essentially you have to side-eye yourself. If you’re not fighting racism, homophobia, misogyny, and other -isms, then you’re adding to the problem.

Tangentially, I need to add that sometimes, even if you think you are being awesome—but you’re still coming from a place of privilege—sometimes you’re still not helping. The movie “Secret Lives Of Bees” comes to mind for me. I felt like that movie was trying really hard to address racism, but for me—for me—all that came across was “Look at these awesome black people! Isn’t it wonderful how they can help white people?” However, not being a POC, (or at least being able to pass for white and thereby having white privilege,) I can’t say this for sure (this is me side-eyeing myself.)


So anyways. Now we have an extremely influential man in Hollywood, who can decide what sort of movie he wishes to make and how he wants to portray men and women to the mass media. This is already a huge, heavy issue. He has made decisions about how he wants to represent gender roles, and he knows, our Regular Joe knows, that people are going to pay one hell of a lot of attention to this.


I’m not too worried. I’ve been on HitRECord long enough to know how Joe handles things. I was there for his fabulous re-write of an ancient bit of slut-shaming in the form of a cautionary tale against women, and he whipped it into shape. He handled it. I was there when he shut down gender roles by doing a show in full drag (like that Iggy Pop meme that goes around, right? “I’m not ashamed to dress like a woman, because there’s nothing shameful about women.”)


Importantly, I trust Regular Joe with this because I’ve heard him talk about 500 Days Of Summer. I think this is one of the most sadly misinterpreted movies I’ve ever seen. It really irks me when people don’t get it. I get eye-rolly when I have to hear about what a bitch Summer was and how NICE Tom was. Oh, those Nice Guys ™! They really really like women! Love them, in fact! They love them so much, that they are entitled to them forever. They love them so much that when the woman removes their entitlement, that woman becomes a “whore” and suddenly, he doesn’t like her quite so much anymore. She’s not good enough for friendship if he can’t have her in a romantic relationship.

Because I identified with Summer (as someone who enjoys making her own decisions and doesn’t like to be called names and made to feel guilty when my decisions lead me away from people,) I followed a lot of comments regarding that movie. So few people actually got it. Joe was one of them. This was back in the days before I was on Hitrecord, and I was cringing, waiting for him to say something that was going to make me face-palm. But then, he didn’t. He kind of just shot down everyone who called Summer a bitch or a whore or said how mean she was and how sad the movie was and blah blah blah. He got it.

I can, and often do, still enjoy problematic things. (I won’t name them here.) In any kind of media, you have to search really hard to find things that don’t have a really screwed up perspective – that’s because media is largely controlled by one group: rich white dudes. That’s a really narrow world-view. So you don’t get a hell of a lot of choices when it comes to stuff to enjoy. If I made it a point to hate everything that dealt poorly with issues, I’d be hating on a big damn lot of things.


Are there problems? Yes! Hitrecord could have a few more women in leadership positions (and by “a few more” I mean “at least one.”) Will the movie still have some issues? Sure! Nothing is perfect, and NO ONE IS PERFECT, because we all have our own world-views. It’s difficult, if not impossible, for us to really put ourselves in others’ positions. There are things I have to let go because I know that some people just don’t fully understand a situation – and I hope that people will understand when I do the same thing. The key is to be open to what people are telling you.

I think that Joe has paid attention to these issues. That’s been my experience here. I’ve seen how he’s handled things in the past: with an open mind and open eyes and enough humility to say “I see your side of things too.” That’s rare everywhere, without even getting into the Hollywood thing.


This is all to say that, usually, when I see another movie about “how guys deal with women / what guys think of women / what men want / what women want,” I’m already rolling my eyes because I’m sick to death of influential white guys trying to tell me how they feel about me, how I should feel about them, and more importantly, how I should feel about myself. (Which is usually: “Be thin/symmetrical/beautiful and smart, but not TOO smart, or barring those options, be the comic relief. Then also be awesome for our egos and desire to stay with us. We like to have sex with you (if you’re hot,) but if you like to have sex with anyone but us, you’re a slut. If you don’t like to have sex with us, you’re a frigid bitch or a lesbian. If you’re a lesbian, be hot so we can watch.” Etc.) I’m sick to death of it and it’s to the point where shaking my head over most rom-coms.

But Joe? I’m pretty sure Joe’s got this.


So if you’re reading this, Bossman, then good luck to you in this tricky endeavor. I trust you to handle it. 

(ETA: I am open to correction, criticism, and being taught about issues, too. Agree/disagree with me? Have something to add? TEACH ME. ^_^ <3  )

Regular Joe and gender roles, on HitRECord.

Tagged: joseph gordon-levitthitrecordjglgender rolesfeminismgender equality500 days of summernice guysnice guys (TM)nice guy syndromerom-comhollywood

NICE GUYS.

NICE GUYS.

Tagged: nice guymr. nice guynice guy syndromeentitlementmisogynyheterosexismcissexismdouchebag

Source: